Ahh, the sounds of morning.. Jackson waking to ask me 45 times if he *really* has to go to school, Christian screaming that he needs to wear the "soccer shirt" - which is really a football shirt that he wears nearly every day. Mike trying to shave and get ready and help me with the older kids so I can make up for SOME amount of sleep lost through the night time feedings with little Samantha. And Samantha? She sleeps soundly through it all. Ironic, isn't it? Truly though, she is a pretty darn good baby. I know people don't like that phrase - "good baby," as it implies that there is a such thing as a "bad baby." Let me say this, she is an EASY baby - not difficult like a certain child who roams this house now.. She seems to be very laid back and goes with the flow, UNLESS I take too long to get her latched on to feed or change her diaper while she's hungry - she is pretty happy overall, which is SUCH a blessing for a mama with a very active toddler and 10 year old!
Christian is adjusting well. The first days home were difficult. On our ride home from the hospital I was sandwiched between Christian and Samantha's car seats and quickly realized that Christian was coming down with a cold. He was gripping my left arm and wiping his nose on it, while I steadied Samantha's wobbly head with my right hand. The realization that he was getting sick really kicked my out of control hormones into high gear and I began to cry. Mike was looking at me in the rear view mirror as though he had a ticking time bomb in the backseat. I told him how overwhelmed I felt and HOW IN THE WORLD would I keep Christian away from the baby and still be a good mom to him? Once we arrived home and I came inside, the reality of keeping a house in order and managing 3 kids and a dog further overwhelmed me and I broke into full on "ugly cry." Poor Mike.
Thankfully, I've since recovered - life hasn't ended - and I feel like I am finally getting into a routine of some sort. I am no longer breaking into "ugly cry" though I suppose that could creep up on me at any given moment, so I won't get too proud about that. For now, I am thankful - overwhelmed MOST of the time - and threatening my toddler with time outs on a minute by minute basis - but I am happy and feel so so blessed!
Knowing that Samantha is my last baby, I have really been savoring my moments with her. Holding her tiny head close to my cheek and breathing in that sweet newborn smell, sometimes mixed with the aroma of sour milk and spit up :). I have been studying her features, intentionally committing to memory the curve of her tiny ears, her silky newborn skin, her soft hair and the tiny sighs and snores she makes. She is pure heaven, and I get teary thinking that the time is passing too quickly. Yes, I know she's only 2 weeks old but I also know that I will blink and she'll change - these days go by so so fast and I know that all too soon, I will be sleeping again, she will be in her own crib and these newborn days will be a memory. Ugh, I am making myself sad. Either way, this little girl is such a precious, precious gift and I am in awe of a God who loves me so much that he would bless me so abundantly. My cup is overflowing for sure, and my heart feels so full it could burst!
Labor story to follow, Heidi!! :)
1 comments:
when you have time.... just hurry it a little :)
i still savor with vange, how it feels to hold her still as a baby and not a older toddler. I will miss it so much! i mourn it almost every day. I could almost feel every newborn thing you were describing thinking of her, soak it in girl.
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