Saturday morning I awoke to regular contractions that felt like strong menstrual cramps. After an hour or so, I headed into L&D at around 4:30am. (Side note: With Christian, I had regular cramping for an hour and then arrived at the hospital dilated to 5 cm, so I was nervous that I'd have this baby on the side of the road if I waited TOO long, being that she was #4 and all) Well, I arrive at the hospital and they check me........2 freaking centimeters. I was really embarrassed, pretty much embarrassed to tears being that this was my 4th. I shouldn't have made such a rookie move! So, my doctor arrived and, positive that he would see me in full labor within the weekend, he said "See you tomorrow!" ... to which I replied "Ugh."
I went home annoyed and resigned to the fact that my little girl would not be coming for at least another week. On Monday at 2am I began to feel very strong and regular contractions. They were about 15 minutes apart, but felt much different than the ones I'd experienced just days earlier. I knew that this was the real deal, but I neeeeeeded to wait until they were closer together. I continued to labor on into the morning, waiting for them to get more painful. I finally called my doctor around 1pm and told him what was going on. They weren't unbearable, but they were consistently 5 minutes apart. He told me to wait until they were about 3 minutes apart and stronger - but cautioned me not to wait too long since this was number 4 and I was a good 45 minutes from the hospital. I called Mike and let him know - made sure I was extra purty for my labor experience ... hey, we had none other than the best photographer this side of the California state line arriving to document the birth. I had to look decent. Anyway, I'm getting off track. The contractions did pick up and Mike picked up Jackson from school (The plan was for Jackson to witness the birth) and came home to get me. My mother in law came to hang with the toddler while Mike, Jackson and I headed back to the dreaded L&D triage.
We arrived in triage, got checked and told I was 3 centimeters. After talking to my doctor, the nurse told me to go walk for 2 hours to kick my labor into high gear. The three of us strolled - no, power walked - through East Sac and actually had a really good time laughing and talking. By the end of the walk, my contractions were so painful I could barely breathe through them. We headed back to the hospital and the nurse checked me. 3.5 cm. She stripped my membranes and waited for the doctor to come see me. Of course, her little trick caused my contractions to become nearly unbearable. My doctor came in and decided I needed to rest. He gave me some muscle relaxer that would allow me to sleep for a few hours before coming back to have the baby. I was in so much pain I was crying as we left the hospital.
Let me stop here and issue a public apology to all of the mothers I have mocked for having "painful" contractions and being sent home from the hospital. I truly thought they must not be painful if you are being sent home. I was in excruciating pain and was sent home to rest. Really - they wanted me as close to 39 weeks as possible. I would have been 39 weeks in 2 days. 2 days people! Does that merit a muscle relaxer? I don't think so. But, I digress.
So, we went to the car. Stopping during contractions to cry and [not] breathe. I called my nurse practitioner friends and asked them about the drug I had been given. They explained that the drug would not stop labor, it would slow it and allow me to rest. They (and my doctor) had all said I would be back before the sun came up and to go home and get straight in bed. With this in mind, Mike arranged for Christian to stay the night at Nana's while we (Mike, Jackson and I) went home and straight to bed. The drug was the weirdest thing I have ever taken. Truly. (Wasn't a big experimenter in high school ;) ) I could feel the painful contractions - I was aware of them - but I was sleeping in between them... like a deep sleep. I may have seen pink elephants and lucy in the sky with diamonds, but I can neither confirm or deny that. At 1am I felt a small gush between my legs and figured my water had broken and it was game time. I headed to turn on the shower before going to the loo. When I sat down on said loo, I saw BRIGHT RED BLOOD running down my legs and all over the toilet seat and floor. Not good. A million possibilities were running through my mind. I didn't know if I was at 10 cm or if I had a placental abruption..but I was scared. I immediately turned off the shower and screamed for Mike and Jackson to get up - that we had to leave immediately. We rushed out the door and I called the hospital and my doctor on the way. My doctor asked me if I remembered where my placenta had been located in my previous ultrasound - THE NORMAL LOCATION, I told him.
We got to the hospital and I was a hot mess. The security guard threw me into a wheel chair after seeing me squat and cry during a contraction. Mike raced down the hall with the wheelchair and we arrived at L&D AGAIN. (Seriously embarrassing to be THAT patient that keeps coming back.) They lead me into a room, checked me and let me know that my bleeding was simply "bloody show." I told them I have NEVER heard of bloody show that runs down your leg, but they laughed me off. The icing on the cake? I was STILL 3.5 centimeters. The nurse told me I'd probably be going back home and left to call my doctor.
It was at this moment in time that I became my husband's (and probably every man's) worst nightmare. I was exhausted, in pain and just plain miserable. The words I said at this point cannot be repeated - I've repented and we'll just leave it at that, mmkay?
The nurse came back in and said I could stay or go home, up to me. (Oh - btw - my mom arrived to take Jackson home with her to sleep until I had progressed, so NO, he didn't witness my exorcist moment as [not] described above.) I stayed for about an hour or so before deciding I was so miserable and just wanted to sleep, and let my poor husband sleep too. I told her I wanted to go home, so she discharged me and offered me that lovely pill again. I said no but about halfway to the elevator my husband convinced me that I would need at least a half dose of the pill to sleep. So I waddled back to the nurse to tell her I changed my mind. She had to call my doctor to order the medicine. I squatted at her desk in pain while she spoke with him, and he was MAD at her. He apparently never said to send me home, he ordered me to a room to sleep and got on the phone with me to tell me I was not going home just to turn around and come back. I did get to take a half dose of the pill and the nurse pulled in a pull out bed for Mike to sleep on and let us sleep until 9am. BLISS (well, minus the contractions)..
We woke up and the pill had slowed my labor so the doctor said to go walk for one hour and THEN he'd check me. I told him under no circumstances would I walk and get my contractions all super painful only to be sent home again. He PROMISED he was not sending me home this time. So, we walked - had breakfast - and came back to get checked at 4 centimeters. Praise the Lord, they admitted me to the hospital and FINALLY let me leave the triage purgatory I'd been confined to.
My doctor joked that this was the longest labor for a fourth child that he had ever seen. Ha. Ha. Ha. :-/
Once in my new room, I went and labored in a hot shower for awhile before calling my boyfriend the anesthesiologist to come dope me up. He gave me a walking epidural which was great. I could still walk around and not have to endure the same pain I'd gone through for DAYS. By 7 cm - that walking epidural wasn't so hot anymore - so we paged that angel for another cocktail - but I ended up having him come back again within 10 minutes..throwing myself into a full on epidural. My doctor came in at about 7pm or so and said I was at 10 cm, but that he wanted me to "labor down" for an hour. So, I hung out and visited with my husband, Jackson and Brenda (wonderful family photographer) while little Miss. Phillips moved on down the birth canal on her own.
Once my doctor came in, I pushed for maybe 15 minutes (if that) and she was born! My doctor had me actually pull her out - which sounds crazy - but it was the coolest experience! Though this was by far the longest and most painful labor experience I've ever endured, the actual birth was the the most calm and incredible experience I have ever had. I just wanted to relive it right after it happened. My doctor was incredibly patient and took his time easing her out - the laboring down really helped as well. When I reached down to lift her to my chest, I locked eyes with her and a wave of emotion overtook me to finally see and hold my little girl. The first thing I noticed was how she did not look like her brothers - she definitely had her own look to her. Of course, I wanted to know she was fine, and because of our experience with Drew, we had a NICU team in the room to confirm that she was healthy. They gave us the thumbs up and left us to bond with our precious angel. I looked over at Jackson, who stayed next to my head for the birth - and his eyes filled with tears.
"What did you think, buddy? Are you ok?" I asked him.
He nodded and said "I don't know what I am feeling. That was overwhelming .. it was amazing!" and he broke into tears.
I thought his description was spot on - the miracle of birth is something that is so overwhelming and amazing - it cannot be captured with words or descriptions - because it's created by God, and is such a beautifully holy and intense moment to witness. Brenda is putting together a video that I will share on the blog once it's available.. but I truly wish I could relive her birth over and over again. It was such a powerful and life changing experience. I absolutely love my little Samantha Grace - my little piece of heaven to add to my other two rambunctious blessings Jackson & Christian.. We are blessed beyond comprehension!
"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."
James 1:17
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