4 Years Later..

I recently read an excerpt from the book "Visions, Trips and Crowded Rooms" by renowned thanatologist David Kessler. After spending time with my Grandmother before she died and having conversations with her about who was also in the room that had died long before (i.e. she mentioned her parents were there with flowers for her, and she was so genuinely surprised because "they had never brought her flowers before."), I've been very interested in hearing others' stories. We had many moments like this before she died, and so I've always been intrigued by the topic. In Kessler's book, he details the common traits between these "deathbed visions" that remain the same no matter what religion, culture or country the dying person is from. I find this stuff absolutely fascinating. One thing in particular that really stood out to me is that the dying person is visited by their mother (or in many cases their maternal guardian)..

"Moreover, the visions people experience at the end of life are remarkably similar. For example, the dying are most often visited by a mother or mother figure. It shouldn't be too surprising that the person who is actually present as we cross the threshold of life and take our first breath once again appears at the threshold as we take our last breath."

I find this so interesting and such a testament to the powerful bond between a mother and her child. Of course if God gave me the privilege of being present when one of my children lay dying, I would be there in a second - welcoming them into eternity. These thoughts are very comforting to me and a powerful reminder that this life is not it - that there is more beyond the grave. I look forward to the day when I cross over the threshold and see my dad, my grandma, my friend who just passed this week and especially my dear baby boy Drew who would be 4 years old today..

To my sweet baby Drew,

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you - or look into your siblings' eyes and see glimpses of the boy I held for a short moment. Today I am thankful for the chance to have carried you for nine months - to have brought you into this world on that stormy day and held you for a very short 15 minutes before holding your lifeless body the next day. I know that there is more - I know that you're waiting for me and that our bond is stronger than the grave can hold. I know that I'll hold you again in heaven..

Happy Birthday, sweet boy. You are sorely missed and never forgotten.

Love, Mom